King and Castle, Windsor
Address: 15-16 Thames Street, Windsor, Berkshire, SL4 1PL [map] [gmap]
Tel: 0871 951 1000 (ref 6749) - calls cost 10p per minute plus network extras
Windsor & Eton Central (0.1 miles), Windsor & Eton Riverside (0.2 miles), Datchet (1.4 miles)
- Fruit machines, Quiz machines (itbox)
- Food served, Sunday roast, Real ale
- Outside seating, Wireless internet access (provided by The Cloud)
other pubs nearby:
please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
5 most recent reviews of 56 shown -Hey, what happened to the floor? Has it been taken out? It was there when I last visited.
Wait 'til Paul37 finds out.'Isss bladdy lavvly in there', said the Turkish pilot. 'Isss call King and Castle, opposite Windsor Castle in Eeengland. We flying there now.' I noted his enthusiasm, whilst casually re-engaging the autopilot that he'd mistakenly disabled when his copious beer belly unconsciously pressed against the control panel. 'Now get out of the cockpeet, if the stewardess sees you in here, she'll lash our bare arses'.
With that image burnt on my memory, I took my leave and returned to my seat. Landing at Gatwick, I simply ran from the plane steps to the perimeter fence and scaled it mirthfully. I eschewed immigration and customs and abandoned my luggage. Hampered by Cuban heels, I ran a pain-filled 28 miles as the crow files to the King and Castle across fields, ignoring cat-calls from farmers and wolf whistles of fugitives and holed-up highwaymen.
On arrival, I discovered its unique feature, one the Turkish pilot failed to mention - the pub has no floor. One enters and immediately takes hold of scaffold poles and traverses them 'monkey-bar' style to the bar. Transvestite robots populate the bar and efficiently tell you which 20 ales are unavailable. I was reduced to a gallon of Devil's Backbone. Its rather awkward to drink while you hang from the scaffolds - you have to let go with one hand and swipe your beer from the bar to mouth and back again before you fall into the swamps below. The toilets are another matter entirely - I feel sorry for the poor attendant, balancing and juggling his aftershaves and wares. They really should invest in a floor.
Just keep reporting him. They will have to do something eventually!
Horrible tourist trap directly opposite the castle â avoid if you possibly can ! There were a few handpumps with the âtrio of doomâ in one corner, but of the main row of 6 all except one were falsely advertising ciders for the cider festival. The first time I saw this I promptly walked out, but I did return later to see if there was another bar elsewhere (yes) serving more real ales (no). I didnât fancy the one guest available so settled for a half of Devils Backbone, for which I was charged Â£1.98 â more than Â£1 a pint more than Iâm used to paying !
I was served by Ciara and Aneta was also there. There also a rather goegeous blonde â but I didnât have the courage to ask âare you the famous Jasminâ !
Building 8/10 ; Beer selection & pricing 0/10 â I guess that averages out at 4/10 ?This was my second visit, but on this occasion, things were not as good,
Any decent pub must be judged on its variety of ale, especially a wetherspoons pub - most of the real ales were either off or 'coming soon', leaving only a choice of a few big brand beers. Two ciders shown on the bar were unavailable as well. This is a shame, as the pub is quite nice, but clearly being badly run when the availability of beers was so poor.